My new ride, Fraelsi

My new ride, Fraelsi
Fraelsi means Freedom in Farose

Sunday, June 21, 2015

The longest day of the year

      And it has a really good weekend, got the mowing done Friday after work and started on my laundry.  Saturday was sunny all day, the clean laundry actually got put away for a change and I even made it to to work on weeding in the Inn garden with Ben to help.
      Sunday was cloudy with storms coming our way, again.  But I got the bird cage cleaned, dishes washed, cinnamon bread made, counters cleaned up, and some floor sweeping done along with getting the bagged insulation down into the utility area and out of my bathroom wardrobe area so now my shoes actually can be tidy and not something I trip over.
      And I pulled some weeds, started a pair of socks for me, had some movie time, enjoyed my quiet house and am ready for another week at work.  Saturday night I enjoyed a long soak in a tub with Shadow and music for company, I like having the music but thought Shadow could have found a better place to nap than right against the bathtub.
      Now, I am looking at having another good week at work, a choice I make, every day, think and believe it will be a good work day and it usually is.  No work place is perfect but I have worked at far worse places for less pay and less or no benefits, and I like those benefits.
      My life has a lot of poor or bad choices and a lot of time picking up the pieces, dealing with the problems my own choices had made or had brought into my life but the last 10+ years have had a lot of stability and good choices.  This old house still needs a lot of work and it has taken a lot of money and time but I am still better here than if I was renting and a lot happier.
     The decision to end a dating relationship was slow in coming, guilt trips about abandoning the man to be alone, but I had to keep reminding myself that he could change that, it was not my job or place in life to be miserable so he had company.  But as I go into this summer, it is an easier summer, my time is mine, when I am not at work and what I do with it is my choice.
      I want more involvement with but know that has to be weekends, at least as long as I am working and I want to work as long as I can.  Not only is that financially smart but I like working, and I like all that it gives me, from paycheck to benefits to some order, routine and balance in my life.  
      This is the first weekend I have not had doll sewing to get done or that I was pushing myself to do, I needed this break, and the house needed the attention, the kitchen needed the dishes caught up, the counters needed to be cleaner and I really needed the floors swept better before the place drove me insane.
      I need to work harder on financial discipline and will have to push myself harder for that but I am managing to stay afloat, the slush funds are not growing and I would be happier if I saw a bit of gain there, even a tiny bit but the medical bills are getting paid, July should put me down to just 2 accounts to pay on, I think there has been a total of 8 or 9, so that is progress.
      Dolls and doll support sucks up far too much of my money and I need to work on that, and consider selling a doll or several.  And work on making clothing and putting it up for sale, I have the skill and ability to do that, but wil not push myself enough.
     All in all, it is a good and stable life I am building here and the choices keep being good choices for my life, and I am making sure I remember that it is my life and keep it at way.  I am done with building a life for the benefit of someone else or building my life around someone else.

Saturday, June 13, 2015

Slow progress on the old house

     All the rain has everything green and growing but it makes weeding the Inn garden at next to impossible so I stayed home today instead of running the Rebel to Clayville and doing some garden work. 
     The budget had room for 1 sheet of moisture proof drywall and I already had all but the light switch to start the wiring work in the future attic bathroom.  With the help of son Ben, I now have the first ceiling drywall up in that space and the light installed and will do the work in the breaker box tomorrow so that light will be a working light.  Not a lot of progress but some and every bit of drywall up in my attic space makes it that much more energy efficient and that much closer to done.
     I leaned of the death of a friend, someone I dated and managed to build back a friendship after the romance didn't work out for either of us.  A heart attack, not a huge surprise that, his overweight, high blood pressure and a few other things.  He and his new gal pal went to Mississippi last summer to marry and stayed there.  
     It saddened me some to learn he had died, and I doubt if his Judy has been left in stable financial position, but I hope their time together was quality with a lot of love and happiness.  There is no coming back to Cargill now, the plant/company went to a No rehire policy several years ago but they knew that before they left.
     I know my life here has some rough spots now and then, the old house still needs so much work and money, materials to do the needed work cost money, and what I cannot do costs even more money to hire the work and pay the materials costs.  The car accident of more than 5 years ago means pain every day, a foot and leg that can make me miserable and sciatic nerve issues to join that pain.  
     But I have a stable job, and benefits, a slowly growing 401K, not a lot there but it will help pay off my debt load some day and I am working on paying down the debt load.  Wa├┐ too many dolls, way too much money squandered on things I do not need but I am not letting some man spend it or using what I earn to pay some man's debts.  And I have done that stupid stuff in the past.
     I do like my silly little life here, and know that it works for me, it doesn't have to suit anyone else, they are not living my life or paying the bills for that life.  
     The roads we each choose to walk are our own, no matter the reasons why we take those roads, make those decisions, good and bad.  At least here in the USA, we do have so much ability to make our own choices, and we live with those choices, my debt load is from my choices, for my reasons, and my responsibility to pay.  
     And the old house, again, my choice, along with the work that has been done here and that will be getting done in the future, yes, a lot of money and work has gone into this old house, that still needs a lot more work and money, but my home works for me, and is mine to care for.  And mine to enjoy, including my attic area, with my sewing space and my retreat.
     The scooter and the Rebel too are mine and I paid the cost, and continue to support those rides I enjoy.  The old truck that won't impress anyone. It gets me to work and home and to the places I need to go, I don't need fancy wheels to impress anyone, in fact, I just don't need to impress anyone.
     It took a very long time for me to grow and mature into the person I am now, a rough and hard road at times with plenty of poor choices, bad decisions and problems to deal with but I am doing ok now, staying stable, making tiny bits of progress, maybe not measurable on the scale others use, but I learned a very long time ago to not let myself be measured by values and the opinion of others.
     So, now, I hope and pray that Darrell's soul moves on to a better life, that his Judy has the ability to make her life work out, and that I continue on that road that has been working so well for me these past years.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Gearing up for our Festival

      The past week was warm, enough I needed the air on here at the house but we have our Spring Festival at this coming weekend and the weather is cooled down some and it looks like a damp and cool Festival again this year. I will wish for a warmer shawl and a winter petticoat if so, but I will hope for a warm Saturday, I have a doll club meeting Sunday so will be there for cleanup after the festival.
     I have to work on the doll club stuff after work, every night, until I have finished what I have here.  I don't know how we will get the entire lot done in time for the convention but I did not commit our club to making 200 sets of bedding for the event we are sponsoring.  I do have experience in cutting many small pieces from length of fabrics, do that making quilts and I have some doubts about the material making the amount someone think it will.  But I can cut some of the blankets so the fold is at the end instead of the side and that should help.  The length that came home with me made 26 blankets, 36 pillow cases and 40 pillow bags, which still need the poly fill cut and stuffed in, the ends sewn shut.  I was originally told 1/4" seams and top stitching on the blanket, glad I only top stitched 1 as it seems the written information says 1/8" for that top stitching.
      This week is city cleanup so I will finally get rid of the old bed frame and mattress and box springs, it will be nice to get it into the truck after work today and haul it over for disposal.  I am seeing very slow improvement on this place but it does improve, a tiny bit every year.
     And I am tent wishing this spring as I no longer have a tent and want to go camping some.  I also want something that could be loaded on the Rebel for taking the bike and running away for a day or so, the scenic river roads, small and quiet out of the way corners, that escape and unwind stuff I like to do but have not for way too many years.  
     But life here is doing ok, I am content for the most part.  I fuss over a varment in the upper garden, by the Inn at Clayville, it has a tunnel/doorway in my beans and I want the critter removed...  And I fuss about the doll bedding but will do my share and more, our club reputation is on the line here and that matters to me.
      My debt load is way too high for my comfort zone but I am working it down, tiny gains every month but I will soon be rid of most of the medical bills, and the credit card debt goes down a bit every month, my savings gains a bit every month.
     Work is going ok, pain but not more than I can cope with, and it pays my bills.  I am glad I learned young to work, to stay working, and to have good ethics and values.  They are part of that foundation I have built my little, quiet life around and they keep making my life workable and in balance.

Sunday, May 03, 2015

Already May

     Time seems to fly for me, my to do list does not shrink much but know I stay busy.  Work takes a lot of that time but it pays the bills, and as long as I can work and earn a living, I will keep working.
     Things at are picking up, I am working Saturdays to get the garden planted by the Inn and to work on the herb garden.  And I am also doing a bit of working on my wardrobe for dress up days there, festivals and occasionally when I am tour guide.  My first day cap is done, not the best but from the first I know what I want to tweak with the pattern to make a better fit for my head, and am using low budget fabrics for the first few.
   My white shift is done, and I like the fit and feel better than the first one, and I finally have 2 aprons done, white cotton and 1 in heavy canvas.  The white one is now in the washer and once it is dry, I will get it ironed and have all my outfit ready the the festival this month.
   The scooter still needs an oil change but I did the Rebel today and then took it for a short run.  We are warming up fast now, but it seemed like a cool and slow spring.  The winter was not as cold as last winter, and plants outside wintered much better, so did all the weeds.  Ben is helping a lot with clean up and such outside, and with cooking meals here and some of the housework.
     I need to get some more sewing done for our club's UFDC event and such, I hope to get a blouse cut out and started tonight, the skirt is almost done but I need the blouse for final fitting.  And it looks like Doonell and I will be making most of the 200 sets of white bedding for that event, but we have plans/hopes for a workshop the end of May and hope some of the other club members have time and are willing to help cut, sew and press.
  And I am taking 2 vacation days and going to Galesburg to help Donnell with a BJD event for the club up there, it will be a fun mini vacation for me. Time with a doll friend I enjoy talking with, time away from home for just a short bit and dolls, a tight budget but I can afford a motel and the meals and so forth.
     I do like my life, and know my very tight budget is choices I made and I am working on getting that debt down and making wiser choices on doll and other not necessary spending.
     I am working on trying to stay healthy and accept that iron tablets and probably electrolyte will be part of my daily routine for the rest of my life but I am not having grand meal seizures now, and not having many small glitches, now and then, yes, but that is part of my normal, or at least is now.
     Like my right foot and lower leg, and the right shoulder, the left hand and arm, between the car accident and work in meat packing plants, pain is also a part of my normal.  I may not like it but I am learning to live with what I cannot change and make my life good, my way.
     I am very content without a dating or significant male relationship, I am calmer, happier and get done what I want done, and less stress and irritation over small and petty issues.  So, now that I am fed and still have a some time before I need to tuck into bed, I will get the load into the dryer and go play in my sewing space. 

Monday, April 06, 2015

Getting into April

We are warming up some and things are turning green, daffies are blooming and I really need to get the mower started.  Ben is getting the pampas grass cut down and we are using it for ground cover in areas that are bare and I have started to clean up the flower beds.
Work is going ok, I am qualified on the trim necks job now but the last 2 shifts I have worked a CCP job looking for contamination just after the hogs come out of the auto back saws.  And I don't get covered in blood, not complaining about it.
I am getting some doll knitting done and a bit of sewing and this past weekend I tidied up some of the doll things I had out that do have places to be stored.  I need to clean out something so I have storage for the doll wigs so they can stay tidy and I am working on a doll wardrobe trunk for the Wiggs clothing.  I need to put a 2nd bar in and have reinforced the area, have the dowel so just need to drill a hole and then glue the dowel in place.  I am not sure where I put those dowels but I know they are in my sewing space.
The doll club meeting has been moved from this coming Sunday to the next one, I had plans to buy 25# of flour at GFS while in Springfield but might be changing my schedule for that.  No reason to run to Springfield on a Sunday if we don't have a doll club meeting.
And I need to get started with the electrical work in what someday should become the upstairs bathroom, do what wiring I can get done and see about getting up at least 1 piece of water resistant drywall.  And get what I can done before it heats up, the more drywall I can get installed in the attic, the more energy efficient it will be.
And it is almost bedtime already, my evenings go so fast after I get home from work.

Sunday, March 08, 2015

The doll club meeting

I took the doll quilts and the items I had done, and the outfit I was finishing to our club meeting today and came home with my Lin Lin doll cold.  She got to go so I could makes sure the garments fit the dolls.  And as her job was to be my fitting model, she went in the bag with the quilts and came home in my knitting bag.
The weather was good, the snow is melting away and it was great to see everyone, we were very chatty and didn't do well at doing a proper business meeting. Our last meeting was the Christmas party so most of us had a lot of gabbing and catching up to do.
Both the Berninas have been serviced, and I have the Singer ready to put up for sale.  My little Nova even has the selector knob on and working and today I bought it a new light bulb.  And plan to order some of the new LED ones for my machines soon.  The cost is the same as regular bulbs for the sewing machines but should put out brighter light, and not get hot.
I might do a few more things for our club's UFDC event but first I will do a bit of sewing for my dolls, and I want a few things put away for Gracie before she comes.  I do have several pair of eyes bought, but will need a wig and want several for each doll, a short red one for RenaJane, she already has the long red wig, and both short and long for my other dolls.  And they need shoes and socks, so I need to be figuring out a sock pattern from my lace yarn for the dolls.
The hand that got cut at work 2 weeks ago looks really good now, the stitches came out this past Friday and I have a really good cream that nursing wants rubbed into the wound area often so I have been doing that.
I am knitting on a doll sweater I bought from a French designer for the Wiggs dolls, her English version has at least 1 error so I will need to figure out how to type up the correction and send it to her.  I think she did the knitting correct but probably had a bit of problem with the translating what she did for the English pattern.  I am using the soft gray sock yarn I got with my tax refund, the color looked good against the skin color of my tan resin dolls.  It will look good with brightly colored pants, leggings or wild skirt.
Physically I am doing better, do not get tired as fast or winded going up the stairs at work and today is the first time in almost a month I knew I recalled needed Gaterade as soon as I got home.  No seizure but on the edge of that shaky stuff and brain not wanting to keep on track, not good when driving home from Springfield.  I don't do much Gaterade on weekends but I need to do some, apparently.
I am still up to my eyeballs in debt but will keep working on making payments and getting it to creep down as I can. 
The time change will take a day or two to adjust to, but my bed is calling me now and I will soon be there.  I hope to get the dress pattern I want to use traced off and maybe even get the fabric cut out after I get home from work tomorrow.  And I need to work on some clean up and tidy work up in my studio area, get photos taken of the Singer I want to sell so I can get it posted on line.
All in all, I have a good life, and work to make it be what works for me.

Saturday, February 14, 2015

UFDC convention

     I had hoped to be going this summer but the time off work last month for medical reasons sunk that dream.  But others from my doll club are going and Donnell has been kind enough to agree to attend the Berdine Creedy dessert event as my proxy.  I will pay the cost and I am working now on making some small doll quilts for her to have as hostess gifts for her table mates.  
     This lets me use some very small fabric swatches I bought many years ago and had de died they either get used or tossed out, I need to tidy up and clean out in my sewing space and the tin with these stored in was part of that sort out and clean up.
      I used 880 small die cut fabrics, all different, both solids and prints to make 11 small scrap quilts and am using fabrics I got at an auction years ago for borders, backing and the binding.  The batting will use up some of the scraps of batting I have saved away and make a dent in that also.
     The house payment is made, and I paid on some bills, and will buy just the needed groceries this week but things are improving slowly.  I still have a lot of medical bills and credit debt, along with the new mortgage but I am starting to see some balance.
     I still need to file state taxes but the state web file is still not available, hopefully it will be next weekend.  That tax refund will go to pay down some of that credit debt, it won't make a big dent but any progress is positive.
     And I have lots of yarns and fabrics so can play at home and put my off work time to good use, doing things I do enjoy doing.  I did get tired of the quilt tops before they were all set together, I started the work last weekend, so I have a lot of hours piecing all those little fabric swatches together.  But the borders go fast, and I hope to see several of the quilts with binding ready to hand turn the edge by the time I head for bed tomorrow.
      So, the wind is cold, but the house is comfortable, we have food and the birds and dog are fine, they might be bored but they also have plenty of food and are in this warm house.  I have many things to be very thankful for in my life.